A penis is a splendid thing; you ladies should be jealous.
An organ with such lovely skin, it’s smooth and mostly hairless.

It starts to grow so quickly when a guy’s about thirteen,
His testicles on either side, his willy in between.

It dangles neatly down below; it’s softly warm and loyal.
But at the slightest hint of lust, it’s ready to uncoil.

It seems to have a mind all of its own; it’s like an untamed beast,
It squirms and writhes and stretches out, just when you ‘spect it least.

Sometimes, yes, it misbehaves, erecting when it shouldn’t.
A bumpy train ride sets it off, and then I wish it wouldn’t.

During summer, wearing little, sunning on the beach,
A glimpse of wobbly boobs or bums will make it squirm and reach.

But handle it with love and care, for it will give great pleasure.
I often check if it has grown – now when did I last measure?

Some men will fret about their size: they give it lots of thought;
Is seven inches long enough? It makes them quite distraught.

They sneak a look in toilets, wondering what they’ll see,
But if another glances back at them, there’s no way they can pee!

Masturbating is a sin – at least some folks believe.
That’s just some old wives’ tale, ’cause it really can relieve.
Without this super organ, no shag would be complete.
Lesbians can try their best, but must admit defeat.

It has some splendid functions, I’m sure you will agree:
To start a whole new life, and more than that – to pee!

But what seems most amazing about my one-eyed flute,
Whatever it is doing, it knows which juice to shoot.

And better yet, it stays with one, until one’s old and frail.
Don’t take it out in public though, or you’ll be thrown in jail.

And so I’d say with certainty
That every man just loves his tool:
But girls, be sure you never chew,
Just suck and fondle, lick and play,
And never, ever bend!

When you sign up with an online dating service the first thing to consider is how to best set up your online dating profile so that other singles will see the person you want them to see. As it is the first thing other members will see is your username. You may choose to be witty, flirty, or keep it simple with a variation of your name. Bear in mind that the type of name you use could influence the type of members that contact you. When filling out your photo personals profile then be honest, if you do start a relationship then it should be founded on honesty or you will attract other singles that aren’t really your type or vice versa. Also don’t be tempted to write a novel in the about you section; you want to entice other sexy singles to contact you, not to know your life story.

Unfortunately some people do fill out their online profiles without following the above advice so you need to filter out the people that aren’t right for you. The best way is to trust your gut instinct, but until you are sure then don’t divulge too much personal information. You wouldn’t give every stranger in the street your phone number or address so don’t do it online. You should also avoid anyone who talks about themselves in a way that would put you off in person. Remember that online dating gives you the opportunity to filter people out before you even go on a date. Use that to your advantage by being selective.
One you have filtered the singles profiles down and chatted with the lucky person then the next thing is the real life date. Most importantly keep it safe, choose a public place to meet where you will feel able to control the situation. .
Overall online dating gives you the ability to have fun! You can meet lots of new sexy singles from outside your usual safe circles of friends. Make the most of the massive databases of photo personals to find the right one to improve your life without having to fend off the drunken idiots that may be in the clubs. Don’t waste the opportunity to find the perfect partner to make you truly happy.